“The only really good performance is the one where you make yourself vulnerable, while pushing beyond your familiar comfort zone.” - Kim Gordon.
Howdy, Nice Maker.
In 1990, I was eighteen years old. My mom and partner brought my brother and me on holiday to her friend's place in Monterey. There was something in the air, a vibe I naturally connected to and still feel when I visit California (see you April 11th?). I feel like I belong there, but as I noted from Kim this week, no place gives you everything.
On that family trip to California and during that period, I felt lost and disconnected from the world around me, like I was living in a dream. I spent much of my youth that way.
The sea air, classic VW bugs and westies, skateboarders, sunshine, and palm trees made me feel at ease. I would go on long walks around Monterey, exploring the picturesque coastal city, quaint homes, artsy shops, seals, and beaches. On the first day of wandering around, I happened upon a record shop, where I was delighted to discover Sonic Youth's new album, Goo. The band was already one of my favorites (I was even a member of the Sonic Death fan club; I cherished those occasional zines), and their music became the soundtrack of my trip to Northern California and, subsequently, the rest of my life.
Last year, I was in Urban Outfitters with my daughter in the Gulch in Nashville. The young cashier noted my old Sonic Youth t-shirt and asked if I had ever seen them live. I laughed and said I did; I saw them play here. Confused, she asked if I meant in Nashville, and I smiled and explained the store was once City Hall, a live music venue. I even pulled up photos from 2008 on my phone (via Flickr) to show her. Flabergasted, she remarked that the exposed brick and pipe ceilings remained the same!
I wonder if young people are patient with extended noise, distortion, and ambient sounds in music these days. At the time, the seemingly unending feedback in the middle or end of songs would annoy me a little. For example, the song "Mote" is about seven and a half minutes long and has over four minutes of distortion. That was hard to swallow for a guy used to listening to songs lasting a minute or two (or less) by Descendants, Circle Jerks, and Black Flag. Back in the day, it was a big decision to trade impatience for battery life. If I wanted to jump to the next song, fast-forwarding the cassette would drain the batteries, requiring them to be replaced sooner. Batteries were pricey, so I would remain listening to the slow, sprawling noise that grew on me over time.
An appreciation for raw, visceral, dissonant tones.
I'm glad I didn't skip ahead. I now know each crackle, static pop, and guitar grind, which seem as calculated and planned as the memorized song lyrics. Instead, back in Monterey with my Walkman, I would sit at the beach writing in my journal, watching the surfers with Kim, Thurston, Lee, and Steve's ambient sound-shapes filling my ears. That distortion takes me back to that time, and I celebrate surviving my misguided, haphazard youth as I still crank it up.
I just finished listening to Kim Gordon's "Girl in a Band" memoir. Her stories of my favorite group and her life left me reflecting on Sonic Youth's role in my journey. I've always considered her an influential feminist and artist who taught teenage Dave about sexism and the objectification of women (along with Crass, especially “Reality Whitewash”), leaving me with a lifelong respect for my female counterparts. Her thoughtful and vulnerable book confirmed my feelings that Kim Gordon is among the coolest women people to have walked this earth. We are so lucky to have her.
While I enjoy Thurston Moore's music and talent, it pains me that he broke up the band after thirty years, not to mention the personal hurt he caused his family and friends. I've been on the receiving end of such heartbreak after being cheated on, and it led me down a dirty, gravel, back road of writing poetry for a minute.
Listening and learning about Kim Gordon's life, dedication to art and creativity, and punk rock ethos inspired me to share one of those poems with you here. Gulp… here goes…
Grey Guilt (1996)
I lay on my back, looking up at the ceiling the dirty, used ashtray sat on my chest representing my heart ashes being dumped into it until the end hot ambers at the filter pressed into it In her bed, it was similar only one clean heart left untainted mine she would reach over and grab it flick her guilt her grey guilt Hot heater pressed firmly into it against it it would burn out she would light another to finish the job the worst case of heartburn I've had
🤝
I enjoyed meeting Bobby and catching up with Kyle this week during our Nice Maker coffee meetup in Nashville. San Diego is next on April 11. Please share this with your friends and encourage them to come out and meet. My goal for Nice Maker events is to help us grow our businesses and careers and to press the pause button on our collective loneliness.
⭐
In the latest episode of ADHD Wise Squirrels, I had a great conversation with Dr. Tina Schneider, Ph.D., the owner and founder of Monarch Counseling. She shares valuable insights into ADHD, relationships, communication strategies, and inclusive leadership.
NICE SONG
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THIS SHALL PASS...
If you ever feel blue, contact me or someone close to you. Understand that as crappy as life can get, it does get better. If you get very dark and are considering suicide, visit 988lifeline.org or call 988.
Thank you for being here.
Be nice.
Dave.
PS:
I created a special recording below. I hope you enjoy it.
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