Tears are not enough.
Don't you know?
"Men who do not weep are not men." — Napoleon Bonaparte.
Hi Nice Maker,
Thank you to everyone who voted in my little poll last week. I wanted to get a feel for how you feel about the newsletter. The results indicate that 19% of you would like less content in the newsletter delivered more often, another 19% of you said you would prefer less content and keep it once a week, and the majority of you, 63%, voted to keep it as it is… and that’s the plan. Thanks for sharing your two cents.
😢 We enjoyed attending the high school graduation of our best friend's son last year around this time. As we watched the proceedings, my wife and I became rather misty. Her tears usually trigger mine and vice versa; on our wedding day back in 2001, she sternly told me not to cry because of this, and of course, I did, and so did she.
As proud as I was of our friend's son's graduation, tears and emotions rushed in back then because I imagined our son graduating and everything that would come along with that chapter of our lives together and apart as he departed for college. Well... we've reached that chapter.
Last week, Heather and I proudly watched the ceremony as our son's turn to graduate from high school was announced. His name echoed over the speakers as he approached the stage, accepted his high school diploma, and shook the hands of his school's senior faculty. I turned and smiled at Heather and noted we were both not crying.
Curiously, I considered why we didn't cry at our son's graduation. Of course, there is nothing wrong with crying. In fact, as a man, it's one of the most masculine things we can do. Perhaps we didn't because we had already experienced the same proceedings the year before, or maybe we loved our friend's son more than our own. That last part was a joke, but we love that kid too.
❤️ Reframing sadness into joy.
I've written at length about the power of reframing thoughts through mindfulness. In a way, I've been preparing for the moment that we celebrate our son's success. I joked to teary-eyed parent friends after the graduation that I would have been crying had he been arrested and was going to jail or pushing off to war, but he's not. He's doing something I never did: graduate from high school in the usual way.
I reframed the sadness I began to imagine with the thought of our son leaving us, and I felt joy for him instead. He's a great person who is creative, intelligent, talented, kind, funny, and loves music - he deserved my happiness rather than my sadness. I mentioned these thoughts several times to Heather leading up to graduation day, and she agreed.
Again, tears are a wonderful, natural way to express our emotions. But in that incredibly proud moment, the joy and happiness we felt failed to trigger the waterworks and instead made us jump up with joy.
We will be a mess when he moves to college (about 500 miles from home) in late summer. To ensure we have an ample enough supply, we will start buying Kleenex now because there will be many tears on that occasion.
This week on the ADHD Wise Squirrels podcast, I spoke with Dr. Alan Graham., PhD, PCC, MCAC. We discussed misinformation, relationships, the history of ADHD diagnosis, how ADHD coaching can help you, and so much more. Don’t miss this episode. I also want to include a special shoutout to our first podcast sponsor, Focused.Space, who will help you start your day with positivity and a plan. I would never promote something I didn’t think would be helpful, and this is a great service with a special offer for you.
NICE SONG
NICE BOOK
Success Frames: Why learning from success is the key to understanding what motivates and inspires us by Rob Hatch.
NICE MAKER OF THE WEEK
Roxanne Turner runs RBT Coaching and is my unofficial ADHD coach, specializing in executive functioning skills. I always learn a ton when we speak, and I had the great pleasure of meeting up in person when I was recently in Denver for a speaking engagement. Roxanne is an expert on managing ADHD and helps hold me accountable when needed. If you or a college-aged friend or family member has ADHD and needs assistance, I recommend reaching out to her and see if she’s a fit for your needs.
THIS SHALL PASS...
If you ever feel blue, contact me or someone close to you. Understand that as crappy as life can get, it does get better. If you get very dark and are considering suicide, visit 988lifeline.org or call 988. Or Google for support where you are.
Thank you for being here.
Be nice.
Dave.
PS: June 3rd is the cut-off date for purchasing your ticket to a four-week training journey with yours truly. Get the details here and get ready for big things ahead!
PPS: Thank you to Sam Davidson at the Nashville Entrepreneur Center, who hired me to deliver The Root Down, and for his kind testimonial.
